WHAT PEOPLE BELIEVE OR THINK ABOUT US, including their judgment or criticism – doesn’t actually impact us.
Sure, if they tell us about it, or tell others and we learn of it – yes it might impact us at that point.
Sure, if they act on their feelings and let them show in a way that impacts us – of course.
But AT THIS VERY MOMENT, another’s beliefs or thoughts – what they are thinking about us, the judgments or criticisms they’re keeping to themselves, those we have no idea about – are not causing us any pain.
Consider the possibility that the following are the things that are actually impacting us:
… our beliefs about their beliefs about us,
… our fears about the possible judgments they might have about us,
… our doubts or suspicions about whether we can believe what they’ve told us, unsure whether they have been truthful about their feelings.
None of us know, with 100% certainty, what other people REALLY think about us. We only know what they choose to tell us.
We trust they’re being honest and authentic, but what they share may only be a piece of the story: there are things they likely think to themselves and never share.
I suggest that the privacy of people’s thoughts and inner contemplation is actually very important and freeing – on both sides of the situation. We don’t need to know every thought another person has about us, nor do they need to share everything either.
But remember: we can take charge of the thoughts, beliefs, doubts, and fears we hold.
Next time you find yourself wondering what other people might be thinking about you, ask yourself:
~What feeling am I creating within myself by focusing on this?
~How can I improve my inner environment by approaching this experience or memory differently?
Instead of: I wonder if they like me –> How about: What do I like about them? I wonder what we might have in common?
Instead of: I bet they thought what I just said was stupid –> How about: What was my favourite thing that we talked about? What did I enjoy about what they shared?
They’re your thoughts, your own creation, so you’re in charge: instead of creating ones that concern you, why not explore favourable possibilities? ❤️