WE MIGHT READ AND FEEL LIKE WE ABSORB VALUABLE SUPPORTIVE REMINDERS SUCH AS:
~ It’s OK to just ‘be’
~ You’re a human ‘being’ not a human ‘doing’
~ Be kind to yourself
~ Life is a journey, you’re allowed rest along the way.
~ [Insert favourite supportive quote here]
MEANWHILE WE STILL JUDGE OURSELVES HARSHLY for things we do or don’t do, berating ourselves for not meeting our own high expectations, on the daily:
~ I’m too distracted, too unfocused – I need to pay more attention and work harder
~ I’m not [doing X] enough
~ I’m [doing X] too much
~ I’m coming up short in [X area of my life]
~ I’m tired but I shouldn’t be – I must push myself more to [do X]
~ [Insert favourite self-criticism here]
There seems to be a disconnect. We hear/read/see the supportive messages – we think we’ve got it, we’ve absorbed them, we’re kind to ourselves.
But then – as though it’s been hiding away in its cabin in the forest within our psyche – our self-critic is still allowed to have a megaphone and speak up. Or maybe it’s the other way around and the supportive reminders hermit themselves away in our psyche – either way, it’s the self-critic that often has the megaphone.
IS THERE A WAY TO MAKE A CONNECTION BETWEEN THE TWO? Can we get the inner-critic and the inner-supporter to work together and help us through our days, instead of keeping them so separate?
Instead of berating ourselves, and leaving the supportive reminders forgotten until we happen to notice them another day…
CAN WE ACKNOWLEDGE what we’re doing or not doing, and accept it with compassion and understanding?
CAN WE SHIFT our thinking to creating alternative thoughts such as:
~ I’ve been distracted, and that’s where I’m at and it’s OK.
~ I’m unfocused, but it’s just the headspace I’ve been in.
~ I’m doing X a lot / not doing X as much as I had planned/hoped/expected – and that is just how today unfolded.
~ I accept myself for being [X way that I am feeling] today – and I accept that it’s how I feel right now.
~ [Insert your own including a comment expressing understanding/acceptance. — If the second part around understanding is a challenge, perhaps consider what encouragement or support you might offer to a friend.]
CAN WE GET QUIET at some point and ask ourselves, our inner wisdom, our intuition: what it is that I need in this moment? Maybe we don’t get a clear answer, that’s OK. But do it without expectation, and without getting caught up in looking for how to ‘fix’ ourselves – because we don’t need to be fixed.
CAN WE TRUST that we are exactly where we need to be? Even if we don’t know why or where it’s leading – because none of us do.
CAN WE ACCEPT, not ignore, where we’re at, how we’re feeling, how slow or fast we’re moving – without berating ourselves? This will allow us to be moving in flow with ourselves and our energy and our needs, as opposed to resisting it.
I invite you to give it a go today – acknowledging where you’re at, and trusting that it’s OK to be however you are. Offer yourself an extra serving of understanding and compassion, hold the resistance and criticism. 😉 ❤
(Photo by Alissa Nabiullina, pexels(dot)com)